


Lost in the Void

by angrbrenna



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Relationship Issues, Secret Relationship, Small Amounts of Fluff, space adventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3063512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrbrenna/pseuds/angrbrenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of their relationship, all Tony and Loki seem to do is argue. As things get worse, both parties begin to find their own coping mechanisms. Eventually they find a way to salvage their love and stay together. But is it a lasting solution?</p><p>Essentially, angsty adventures in space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mezzo_marinaio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzo_marinaio/gifts).



> Based on the prompt:
> 
> "Loki intends to leave our galaxy and go on a space adventure (for whatever reason), and he has a proposal for Tony: leave everything behind and come with him to help, or forever lose the opportunity to visit the rest of the universe by sticking to his ‘morals’. What will he choose?"
> 
> I deviated slightly, or maybe I just changed the focus of it. Either way, I hope you still enjoy it!

“I can’t keep doing this, Lokes.”

Loki looked up, lifting his gaze from his hands. For too long he’d just been staring at his fingers, shifting and intertwining them in silence. “Doing what?” “Don’t you play that game with me. You know exactly what.”

“No, Anthony, I don’t. What is it that I do that irks you so much?” Loki’s gaze felt like an assault, designed to push him back, wear him down, and force him to surrender. Tony looked away. “It’s not so much you do, it’s more…”

“Isn’t it?” Loki interrupted. “Then what is the problem? If you don’t care what I do, why do you feel the need to chastise me?”

“I do care! I do care, but it’s the… chastisement itself I’m through with. Since the beginning it’s just been argument after argument with you. Everything is a battle. I can’t live with you at my throat!”

“Why?” Loki sneered. “Are you afraid I’ll slit it?” His eyes were narrowed, and he pulled his lips back in a snarl, showing rows of sharp, white, teeth. Yet his eyes proclaimed a different story, as did the single tear falling down his cheek.

It was a trick Tony had come to know all too well. “Cut the waterworks, sunshine. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to manipulate me for five seconds so that we can actually talk this through. You can’t just avoid the issue forever, and it’s certainly not going away of its own accord.”

Loki’s face straightened, all distress gone in seconds. “Can’t I?” He asked coolly. “I seem to have done a pretty good job at avoiding it thus far. Why not continue?”

It was like trying to push over a stone wall with your bare hands. “Loki, come on, can’t we just talk…”

“I don’t want to talk, Anthony!” He sounded every bit the spoilt child at that moment, just a pampered prince throwing his toys out of the cradle. “If you don’t like me as I am, why don’t I just go?”

“Go where, Loki? Last time I checked, you want all that welcome on Asgard. I’m just trying to help you, you’re a mess…”

“I’m a mess?” Loki snapped, raising his voice for the first time. “I’m a mess? Anthony Edward Stark, perhaps you should examine your own life before making such accusations of me.”

“Yeah, I know. I know I’m a mess, and that’s the point. Someone tells me I’m a mess, I wholeheartedly agree. I don’t start screaming at them about what they’re doing wrong. And I fix it. I am fixing it.” Only now was Tony able to look Loki in the eye again. “You? You don’t do shit. You just mope around, wallowing in your own misery. You’re… you’re useless.”

Loki fell silent. His gaze dropped – now it was him that couldn’t meet Tony’s gaze. “If I don’t serve your purpose, if you have no use for me, then why don’t I just go?”

“Loki… you think I’m just using you? No, that’s not what I meant…” Suddenly the implications of his word, spoken in anger, became apparent. “Loki, I’m worried about you. I hate seeing you like this. I mean, I think I preferred it when you were a cocky, murderous megalomaniac. At least that’s not, well, this.”

“Would you? Why? To a put a little excitement in your life again? A little danger?”

“Loki, no…”

“And I can’t do that anymore, can I? All I do is mope and moan – is that why you want me to leave?”

“I never said I wanted you to leave! Never!”

“Oh, but you implied it…”

“No! Because I don’t want you to leave. I want to help you. Is that really such a strange concept to you?”

“Oh no, it makes perfect sense. You want to fix me like one of your machines, so that I can serve your purpose. That’s right, isn’t it?”

Tony stopped. There was no arguing with Loki when he was so latched onto an idea. Every word Tony spoke would be weaponized, and he wasn’t about to supply Loki with more ammunition. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say, Loki. Tell me what you want me to say.”

Loki paused, considering the request. Then his eyes softened, his insecurities again revealed. “I want you to tell me to stay, Tony.”

“I have been.”

“Convince me.”

There was no doubting what Loki meant. Tony opened his arms, and Loki shuffled across the room into his embrace. He held the god tightly against his chest, before pulling his chin up so that he could see Loki’s face. Then he reached up and kissed the trickster, delicately, soothingly, trying to placate him. Loki moaned, accepting the kiss more than willingly. They kept their position for moments, before Loki finally made a move. Slowly he reached down and tucked his fingers into Tony’s boxers. The inventor sighed, bucking his hips into Loki’s touch, moaning into his mouth as Loki’s fingers worked across the sensitive skin of his dick. All previous thoughts were overwritten with need, the argument was out of mind…

“Stop!” Suddenly Tony was pushing Loki off him, back into the room. The god was dazed for a moment, not yet registering what had happened. Then his eyes narrowed.

“Changed your mind, Anthony? Decided you want rid of me after all?”

“You just… you just used sex as a weapon.” There was something about it that made Tony feel violated, though his need was still apparent enough in his pants. 

Loki… Loki just looked angry. “No, Tony, I wanted you. Because I love you.” It was horrifying how easily Loki turned those few sacred words into something so twisted. “I wanted you, not the argument.”

“And you always get what you want, don’t you?”

“I thought you said you wanted to help me. You know how insecure I can be…”

“Yes, I do want to help you. But I’m not willing to sacrifice myself entirely to help you.”

“All I wanted was reassurance…”

“No, all you wanted was to get out of that argument, nothing more.”

Loki fell silent.

“Well? Are you even going to say anything?”

“What is there to say, Stark? What do you want me to say? Am I to take this that you want me to leave?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“What?”

“If you want to leave, go! I’m not going to stop you! I have no idea what to do anymore. I’m out of ideas.”

And Loki just smiled sadly, and began to back away. “If you wanted me to leave, you should have just said so.” Then he turned his back on Tony and disappeared into the bedroom.

Tony waited a while – an hour or so – before following after Loki. He found the bedroom empty, save for the t-shirt and jeans lying discarded on the bed. A quick check of the wardrobe showed that Loki’s armour was gone. Wherever Loki had gone, he was a long way away now. Tony sunk down onto the bed, still holding Loki’s clothes. He didn’t bother to change, despite Jarvis’ requests. He didn’t move a muscle until the morning came.


	2. The Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki comes back, and all is right again.

Loki was not there when he woke up. This wasn’t exactly a surprise, just a disappointment. Tentatively Tony lifted himself off the bed. Loki’s clothes were still lying discarded on the floor. Tony went to pick them up, then hesitated, before heading out of the bedroom.

He’d turn up at some point, Tony was sure. But as longer and longer passed, it seemed less and less likely. Since Loki had moved in six months ago, he’d never stayed away for more than a few hours (another reason why Tony had been so worried about him). At first Tony felt guilty, cursing himself forever telling Loki to leave. Later he would remember that he never actually told Loki to go, and he’d wonder how he could forget such an important detail. Loki left his head in a mess. Maybe it would be better for them both if Loki never came back.

Whether that was true or not, Tony never got to test. A whole week after Loki’s departure, Tony drank for the first time in months. Nowadays he tended to avoid alcohol, where he could. He poured himself a glass of whiskey, leant against the bar, and considered what to do next. All of his future plans had involved Loki. Or, more accurately, all of his future plans had disappeared when Loki had arrived.

And then he felt a hand on his back.

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

That scared him more than the initial contact.

“Never thought I’d here you say that, babe.”

Loki remained silent for a second. “I know.”

“Are you alright? Where have you been?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Tony turned around to face Loki now. The God looked different than he had a week ago. Healthier. His hair, though unbrushed, was thick and full and his skin had a little more colour to it. And his eyes were bright and alive like Tony had never seen them. Though there was regret in his eyes, there was also desire.

“Yeah, you look fine.”

Loki smiled at that. “Do I now?”

“Sure do. You look on fire. What’s got you all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?”

“Sometime away, I suppose. I realized how much I missed you. And…” His hand wondered to Tony’s crotch.

“Oh, of course, I knew you’d come back for that, you little –“

Loki silenced him with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, keeping him pressed up against his body. This time there was an actual warmth to the embrace, not just the cold and empty intimacy of Loki’s manipulation. Tony welcomed it gratefully, basking in all of Loki’s affections.

“See, why can’t we just be like this all the time?”

“Because it’s simple.” Loki whispered. “Because we are too complicated for anything to be that easy.”

It made sense when Loki said it. “It would be nice though, wouldn’t it?”

“Undoubtedly.”

They remained in each other’s arms in comfortable silence, until Tony finally spoke up. “So why don’t we move this party to the bedroom.”

Then suddenly he was lifted off his feet and lifted into Loki’s arms. Sometimes he forgot how strong the trickster actually was. “What are you doing?”

“Treating you like royalty. It is no less then you deserve, given the way I’ve treated you.”

Tony blushed. “Loki, you don’t need to do that-”

Again Loki cut him off with a kiss. “I can if I want to.”

“If I’m royalty, then don’t you have to do what I say?”

“I suppose so. Do you want me to put you down?”

“No.”

Loki grinned, and started towards the bedroom while carrying Tony bridal style. He kicked open the door, then dumped Tony on the wide bed.

“Hey, watch it, sweetheart, you don’t want to bruise this royal arse.”

Loki rolled his eyes and huffed. “If you don’t learnt to address your servant with respect, he may just resign.”

“Don’t even think about it Princess, you owe me.”

The God nodded obligingly. “That I do. What do you want of me?”

“Loki, you can cut the crap now and come here.”

“If that’s what you wish, your majesty."

Loki did treat Tony like royalty that night, catering to every whim and fantasy he expressed. When they were finally done for the night, they were both worn out and ready to collapse. Eventually they settled down together, warm and comfortable in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I initially wrote a smut scene to finish up this chapter, but ended up cutting it because I was doing it for a prompt and it seemed like the best option. However, if anyone is interested in reading it, let me know and I'll post the explicit version.


	3. The False Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything begins to fall apart again. Loki finally reveals where he went. Between them they come up with a (hopefully) more sustainable solution.

Their evening of intimacy was followed by a morning of conflict. Tony couldn’t particularly remember what it was about. The argument quickly drifted away from the topic on hand. It was roughly addressing something Loki had done, something Tony had repeatedly asked him not to do, something small but something Tony couldn’t ignore any longer. And, like last time, it ended with Loki leaving. This time he didn’t even spare a glance at Tony. He just walked out. And Tony immediately made his way to the bar. If Loki was returning to old habits, so would Tony.

Loki came back, about a week later, with all his passion and love renewed, and they’d make love, they’d hold each other in their arms, they be happy. And then, when asked, Loki would just gesture vaguely to the sky and give no real answer. That was fine, when they were happy and together. But when he was gone, Tony wanted nothing more than a solid answer.

The cycle didn’t stop. Loki was now away more than he was around. It was like he didn’t even live there anymore, and yet he was Tony’s boyfriend. He felt used. Loki turned up when he wanted to do and disappeared when he saw fit.

It must have happened at least ten times by the time Tony finally put his foot down – though he had kind of lost track. Loki came back, and as per usual he was affectionate, warm, loving – and it took all of Tony’s strength to push him away. But as he felt Loki’s hand on his shoulder, he managed to slap it away, and turn around and face Loki. “Where have you been?”

“I told you-”

“No you didn’t! You pointed at the sky, and smiled prettily – that doesn’t cut it Loki. Where do you go?”

Loki fell silent. He looked sad, certainly, more than anything else he looked guilty. At first Tony was wary of it, knowing of Loki’s tendency to manipulate, but there was something genuine about his expression. Finally, the Trickster spoke. “I’ve been to a lot of places.”

Tony gave a sigh of frustration – Loki was very good at giving vague answers. “But where, Loki? Where do you go?”

“I don’t mean to sound condescending, but nowhere you’ve ever heard of.”

Yeah, it sounded condescending as hell, but it was also probably true. “Like… space places? Or mythology type places? I’ve been doing some reading on Norse myths.”

“A mix of both, I suppose.”

“But why? Do you have friends there?” Suddenly Tony’s expression darkened. “A mistress?”

Loki’s eyes widened – he looked shocked and hurt. “Tony, no! I haven’t been off fucking other people, that’s not why I left, I promise you.”

“Then why?”

“I don’t know, Tony! I guess I’ve always wanted to travel. And now… I have the opportunity to do so.”

“Oh, so you take our arguments as an opportunity, now, do you?”

“No! I mean, not at first…”

Tony’s heart sunk. “Wait, you mean you’ve actually been deliberately starting these arguments?”

“No, Tony, I just… haven’t been trying as hard to solve our problems as I could. I didn’t mean to-”

"To what? Get so involved in this relationship? If you wanted to go, why didn’t you just say? I’m not forcing you to stay.”

“Because I love you!” Loki didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped from his mouth while he wasn’t concentrating. “Because I love you, and I don’t want to leave you.”

“But evidently you do, because otherwise you wouldn’t find excuses to run off whenever you can.”

“Tony, please. I love you, I do, but… I guess you were right.”

It seemed Loki was trying to manipulate him after all. “I was right. Of course I was. About what?”

“It isn’t healthy for me to be locked up in this tower all the time. It’s not in my nature. I’m a wanderer, I need to roam… which means that sometimes I need to be away from you.”

“Always, you mean.”

“At the moment I suppose I’m just enjoying this new found freedom. Maybe I’ll settle down, in a while…”

Tony gritted his teeth. If anything, this was more annoying than anything, this little confessional Loki had going on. It just made everything seem all the more hopeless for the two of them together. So maybe Loki would get over this little habit of his, but how long would it take? ‘In a while’ could mean anything from a few weeks to whole centuries when it came to Asgardians.

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand.” Tony paused, considering his words carefully. “Why can’t you just take me with you?”

Loki blinked. He hadn’t considered that as an option before – he’d rarely heard of mortals leaving Midgard, so the idea hadn’t even occurred to him before. “You’re human. Your place is on Midgard.”

Right then, Tony could have thrown something at him. “Come on, Loki, cut the bullshit. I know Asgard’s a little uptight about who comes in, but the rest of the universe can’t be as strict about it as you.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t class me as one of the Asgardians.”

“I know you’re not in their little clique anymore, but you sure as hell still act like it.”

“… Maybe. I was shaped by upbringing. That’s hardly my fault.”

“No, but you’re missing the point here Loki. Is there anything stopping me from coming with you?”

Loki considered it. While he’d never seen any Midgardians out in the universe, he couldn’t think of any laws that forbade it. If anything it wouldn’t be logical for any such laws to exist, as Midgard didn’t have the technology to make contact with any of the other settlements in the universe. “No, I don’t think there is.”

“Then why didn’t you just take me with you?”

“I don’t know Stark, it just never occurred to me!”

They sat in silence for a few moments, neither entirely sure what to say. It was Loki who finally spoke again.

“Do you want to come with me?”

What Tony had wanted, up until this point, was simply to have Loki back. If that meant going off into space with him, then he would do that. He’d go wherever Loki went. Whether or not he would do that of his own accord wasn’t really the issue. Yet now Loki had mentioned it, the idea of actually going out into the universe and seeing things no one of his species had ever seen before was pretty fucking awesome. “Hell yeah, Lokes. I mean… I love you, and I want to be with you… but also, I could go to space. I could do what everyone always thought was impossible. I’d be stupid to turn down an opportunity like then.”

“Okay then, I’ll take you.”

It seemed so strange to settle something so… phenomenal, amazing, bizarre – in one little sentence. “Holy crap, you mean, like, right now?”

Loki shook his head. “No, I don’t have the energy to perform the spell. It’ll have to wait till tomorrow.”

Tony grinned. “That’s fine by me.”


	4. The Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki fulfills his promise, and takes Tony to Xandar.

Tony was awake at the crack of dawn, wide awake and excited like a child on Christmas morning. “You awake there, Loki?”

Loki was not so keen. “It’s too early. Come back later.” He yawned, before turning his back on Tony and falling back asleep.

Reluctantly Tony lay back down on the bed, and curled up against Loki. The sleepy god sighed, and curved his back into Tony. The two slowly drifted back to sleep, warm and comfortable pressed up against each other. 

“Tony?”

The Inventor flew awake, almost jumping out of his skin at the sound of Loki’s voice. “Loki? What’s happening?”

The God was perched on the end of the bed, fully dressed and ready. There was a strange, unidentifiable noise, Tony almost thought he’d imagined it. “My dear, I thought you were eager to leave.”

“I… I am. What time is it?”

“Eleven o’clock.”

“Eleven? How did I sleep for so long?”

“It was magic. I’m sorry, I needed time to prepare.”

Tony paused – he hated it when Loki used his magic on him, but his curiosity got the better of him. “So we can go now?”

“Yes. We can go when you are ready. Though you may want to put on some clothes…”

“Yes. Clothes.” Tony rolled out of bed, revealing his entirely naked form. A little sleepily he ambled across the room to the wardrobe. As he did so, Loki watched him, his eyes roaming over Tony’s body.

“Perhaps you could put those clothes on in an hour or so, maybe?”

Tony turned around and smirked. “Liking what you see, Loki dokey? I tell you what, maybe later. When you’ve taken me to space.”

“… Fine. Now put your clothes on, you tease.”

Tony winked at him, wiggled his butt and then pulled his clothes out of the wardrobe. What does one even wear on a journey into space? He chose jeans and a t-shirt, and a warm jacket because who the hell knew what the weather would be like.

He turned back to Loki, and suddenly noticed the source of the noise.

“Loki?”

“Yes?”

“What is that in the corner of my bedroom?”

“Our bedroom, I believe, Tony dear. And I assure it is necessary for our journey.”

“Yes, but Loki… what is it?”

Lazily Loki looked over to the corner Tony had indicated. It radiated a strange blue light – reminiscent of the portal up in the sky during the… Tony shook those thoughts from his head. Today wasn’t the time to let those memories overtake him. Besides, the light of the portal wasn’t that similar…

“It's a portal. It's going to get use where we want to go. Tony?” The Inventor looked up to see Loki watching him closely, concern obvious in his expression.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Loki nodded, still watching Tony warily. “Of course. This way.” He reached out and took Tony’s hand. “Are you ready?”

Tony shrugged. “Why not?”

They shared a smile, and then Loki was pulling him into the portal.

And suddenly the world fell away, and they were falling together. Tony felt like he’d left his stomach at the top. Desperately he clung to Loki’s hand, but it did no good. Physics didn’t seem to work like it should, neither did his muscles, and suddenly Loki’s presence was gone. He thought to try and find him again, but there was no way of knowing exactly how to do that. He couldn’t even remember how to move his body, or what it felt like to have a body…

_Tony._

Suddenly Loki was there, hand on his shoulder, and he felt a lot safer. Every colour imaginable danced in front of his eyes as they continued through the bizarre state of existence.

_Tony?_

Suddenly Loki sounded concerned, distressed even. Had something gone wrong? Loki must have done this a million times before, he’d only be worried if something had gone wrong…

“Tony!”

“Hnngh what?”

“Tony, are you alright?”

The dancing lights faded away, giving way to a bright blue sky. “Loki?”

Loki let out a sigh of relief. “I thought the journey had damaged you.”

“Damaged me? What? Was that ever a risk?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

He was probably joking. Or at least exaggerating. It took a while but eventually he’d worked out how to tell Loki’s jokes apart from Loki’s death threats (he made plenty of both).

“Nah, I’m fine. Just feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“That’s normal, I think. Magic can take its toll on those unaccustomed to it.”

“Lokes, that sounds like what you said to me the first time I fucked you.”

“Oh, of course. I had to make you feel better about your short comings.”

“Hey! I my short comings can’t be all that short if I can get you moaning like a slut.”

Loki shook his head, looking slightly incredulously at Tony. “You’re currently on a planet further away from home than any of your race has been, and you’re talking about bedding me. That’s… not surprising, given that it’s you.”

“Oh yeah, that.” He sounded so unenthused, but from where he was lying, all he could see was blue sky and the white walls of some building. “It doesn’t look like anything’s changed. I mean, this could be Earth, for all I know. It isn’t, is it?”

“No, Tony, this is Xandar. It most certainly isn’t Earth, though I suppose there are some similarities. Now, if you’re sure you’re not about to throw up, you can sit up and I can show you around.”

Slowly Tony lifted himself off the ground, taking care not to move too fast and set his head spinning again. “You know Xandar sounds like some distant planet from some old cheesy sci-fi flick, right?”

“I am fairly certain Xandar existed before Midgardian Science Fiction did, Tony.”

“

Yeah, okay but-” Tony’s sentence was cut off as he sat up and saw Xandar for the first time. It was nothing like he’d ever seen before. Each pearly white building was scattered with technology even Tony couldn’t identify. Great curving planes of glass glistened in the sun like iridescent fallen leaves. Everything shone – even the huge grey office blocks were fashioned into bizarre shapes and adorned with unfamiliar symbols made from glass.

And the people – that was even more of a shock. At least he didn’t feel that his clothing would make him stand out. There was a woman wearing something that looked like jeans not all too far from where they hid between two buildings. However, the effect was slightly different because this woman’s skin was bright pink. That wasn’t even the strangest thing she saw, either. While some could pass as human, others were more reptilian, or animalistic and – did that tree just move?

“Okay, yeah, I’m gonna puke.”

Loki had his hand at Tony’s back before the scientist could collapse. “My apologies, Tony. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, Loki, please don’t apologize. This… this is amazing. Just a little overwhelming.”

Loki smiled, and kissed Tony gently on the forehead. “Are you feeling alright now?”

“Yeah, I feel great. I mean, look at this place! You’re gonna show me around, yeah?”

“Of course, Tony. Now we better get on with that. If we spend to long lurking in dark corners, the Nova Corps might get suspicious. 

“The what?”

“Nova Corps. A governing body, of sorts.” He pointed to a huge white building visible over the roofs of the lesser constructs before it. “It is wise to not act suspicious right on their doorstep. I don’t want to have to explain why I have an Earther with me.”

“You could say we’re on our honey moon, dear.”

Loki rolled his eyes and took Tony’s hand, leading him out onto the street. Tony was surprised to see that neither he nor Loki looked at all out of place, given the vast difference between their clothing. There were some people wearing casual clothes that were more or less the same as what Tony wore (though the composing materials were hugely different). There were others who wore huge armoured suits, metal spikes and leather covering every inch of their body and even increasing the wearer’s size by a good foot or so in every direction. By comparison, Loki’s outfit looked fairly modest.

Together they wondered through the city, Loki leading the way and Tony following obediently. A few times Loki suggested entering a building or shop, but Tony would protest, and say that he wanted to go look at some glowing object in the distance or up to the peak of a bridge so they could see the Nova Corps space ships patrolling the sky. Everything was new, everything was wonderful. A few times a random passer-by would look at him strangely as he stared in wonder at something so obviously mundane. Other times they would smile and point them in the direction of some other tourist attraction. Every time Tony would thank them, even though Loki was probably planning on taking him there anyway.

And Loki, for his part, was extremely patient. This place was probably nothing compared to Asgard, yet he seemed happy enough spend hours indulging Tony’s every whim. “Sorry, sweetheart, this must be so boring for you.”

Loki shrugged. “Not yet, Tony. Maybe when we’ve spent months inspecting every square inch of this place I’ll tire of it.”

“Well that’s surprisingly charitable of you. What’s gotten you into such a good mood?”

“It’s not charitable – am I not allowed to enjoy myself too?”

“Well, yeah, but I figured you probably wouldn’t, seeing as you’ve been here before, and you’ve probably seen bigger, better places…”

"I’m enjoying watching you enjoy it. Despite what you may think, I do enjoy seeing you happy.”

That got a smile from Tony. He took Loki’s hand, and held him close. “That’s sweet.”

Loki blushed. “Well, I love you, Tony.”

“Yeah, I know. Am I allowed to kiss you now?”

“If you want.”

Tony took that as a yes, and leant up to gently kiss Loki on the lips. He only lingered there for a second, before pulling away. “So, is homophobia not a thing on this planet? Because that would have to be the highlight.”

“Look at them, Tony. Most of them aren’t even humanoid. They’re probably not even aware that we’re of the same gender.”

“Still, it’s got to be a good thing.”

“It’s certainly a perk.”

In the end, Tony almost liked Xandar more than he liked Earth. It was exciting and new, and most importantly, Loki was by his side and he was happy. Around midday Tony finally decided he’d seen enough of outside, and let Loki drag him into a shop. Before entering, Loki explained that it was a technology store. Tony’s initial reaction was to assume that he would be in his element, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. He could almost comprehend what some of the simpler, mechanical devices did, but some were completely obscure. Still, Tony felt like a kid in a candy store, inspecting everything he could, and each deciphering little or nothing of the purpose of each device but still being delighted by it.

“Tony, I think perhaps it’s time we left. The shop keeper is looking a little nervous.”

The scientist looked up from the smooth white ball he was currently toying with, to see a large, scaly creature glaring down at him. “But I’m done looking at it.”

“Well, you can’t keep looking at it here. Why don’t we just buy it?”

It was the first of many gifts Tony received that day. He wasn’t exactly sure where Loki got the money from, but seemed to have enough to frivolously buy something for Tony in every shop they went into, whether it was some piece of technology Tony was eager to play with, or some type of snack that caught his eye. 

“How much have you actually spent on me today?”

“Does it matter? I want you to have the full experience.”

“Still, I feel like I should pay you back or something.” The currency was obviously vastly different from the dollar, so Tony had no concept of how much Loki had actually blown on him.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You offered me shelter in your home almost a year now – consider it as rent, or something of the sort.”

Something else had already caught Tony’s eye, so he didn’t pursue the point any further.

By the end of the day, Tony was so exhausted he could barely stand. How long had they even been there? The sun (was that the right word for it) had just come up when they arrived, and it was disappearing under the horizon now. But how long were days on Xandar? It was highly unlikely they were the same as on Earth. It felt like days had passed, but then again time was highly subjective. 

As Tony started to droop, Loki led them into another building. Once inside Tony realized it served food. He was surprised to see that it was actually fairly similar to what was on offer on Earth, in some of the less respectable establishments. They seemed to be serving some kind of unidentified meat, wrapped in a flat bread. Loki ordered something (Tony had no idea what), then turned back to Tony.

“Good day?”

Tony shook his head disbelievingly. “It was… it was amazing, Loki, I can’t even-”

“You don’t have to. Your face said it all.”

“Thank you, Loki. Thank you for… all of this.”

“Thank me later. Preferably in bed.”

“We have a bed then?”

“I have a room upstairs. I thought it would suit our needs.”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

Their food arrived (the waitress looked human, apart from the large, purple third eye in the centre of her forehead) and Tony was relieved to find it tasted more or less how it looked. As they ate Tony chattered on about everything they’d seen, all the amazing things they’d seen. Whether Loki was listening or not, it didn’t matter – more often than not Tony was simply talking himself through something he was trying to figure out. 

Starlight was shining into Loki’s room when they made their way up to bed. The ceiling was retractable, Tony realized. _We have that on Earth _, he reminded himself. _No need to get excited about it.___

Loki did not turn the lights on, because enough light was coming in from the sky, and it was certainly more atmospheric. The spacious room looked almost magical in the strange lighting. Everything was cast into shades of silver and black. Carefully Loki pulled Tony onto the bed beside him, then began removing his clothes, throwing them into the floor where they disappeared into the shadows.

That night Tony did have the chance to properly thank Loki, until he was too tried to move. They fell asleep together in the starlight, happier by each other’s sides than they had ever been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this was meant to end with a smutty scene. I cut it, but I will happily post it if anyone wants me to.


	5. The Rest of the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki visit various place in the Universe, but Tony is worrying about home. It turns out he was right to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten points to whoever spots the Firefly reference!

They left at lunchtime the following day, Tony insisting that they at least spent the morning seeing more of Xandar, and even then he only consented on the promise that they would return.

“Where are we going next?”

Loki was sitting on the ground in the same alley way that they’d arrived in, quietly constructing a portal. At first Tony had been watching, asking questions every five seconds, until Loki had gotten too frustrated and ordered him to turn around.

“I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

Tony considered for a second. “How about a more mythological place? If that makes sense.”

“I can do that. How about Alfheim? They’re extremely welcoming there, though of course you wouldn’t be able to use my name.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The light elves did offer them a splendid welcome, inviting both Tony and Loki to join them as guests of honour at a feast. Loki laughed when Tony was forced into formal Elven clothing, even though he secretly loved how he looked. The food was spectacular, better than anything he’d ever tasted before. Then, after the food, they’d spent the evening talking with the women, especially a flirty young girl with silvery hair. She introduced herself as Sigyn, and seemed especially interested in putting her hands all over Loki. It wasn’t long before Tony had to intervene, dragging his boyfriend off to the luxurious chambers they’d been given. Even so, they left early the next morning.

The next stop was a place called Knowhere. They’d arrived in a busy market place, but if anyone had noticed their odd arrival, they didn’t so much as spare them a glance. It was so much busier than Xandar, though with the same wide variety of species. The only difference was that the people of Knowhere were armed to the teeth, and most looked like they could tear you limb from limb, and would do so just for fun. There they spent a few days, given Tony’s curiosity for the more slapdash technology, and also the fact that the place was built inside of a _literal_ giant head.

Tony lost track of the time, never quite sure how long they had been somewhere due to the huge variations in places they went. They spent at least a week on a planet called Persephone (Tony was fascinated by the various space crafts and insisted on inspecting each and every one that was on sale) and in a place called Canton they’d spent no more than a few hours, due to the general smell of the place. In Ironwood they must have spent at least a month, staying with a giantess named Angrboda, apparently an old friend of Loki’s. The place was incredible, but it was Loki who kept them there. Clearly there was some affection for the women, but it wasn’t threatening – they seemed to be just close friends.

Eventually they ended up back on Xandar for a few nights, enjoying the sights at a slightly slower pace, and even taking the time to relax. It was when they’d retreated back to their room for the night, and Loki was curled up on the sofa and Tony was sprawled across the bed.

“When do we go home?”

Loki looked up from his book. “Homesick?”

“Kinda. I guess I’m just missing some stuff. Some people.”

The God shifted uncomfortably, considering his answer carefully before replying, “I suppose we can go back whenever we want to.”

Tony sat up. “You don’t want to go back, do you?” 

Again Loki squirmed, his gaze falling away from Tony. “It’s not that, exactly. I suppose I’ve just been enjoying the freedom.”

That was understandable. Back at home – Tony’s home – Loki couldn’t even leave the house for fear of being caught. He’d managed to ward Stark Tower against Heimdall’s gaze, but anywhere else was too risky. “Yeah, I get that. But _I_ can’t stay here forever. I mean, I have responsibilities back at home.” In truth it had been nice to get away from that for… however long they’d been away. At that thought Tony began to worry about what was waiting for him back at home. “I need to get back. Soon.”

Loki nodded, then returned to his book. “We can go back tomorrow.”

*

Tony had hoped to enjoy his last day in space, but Loki’s mood made that in possible. He woke up taciturn, and refused to say anymore to Tony than was strictly necessary. They packed up everything they’d acquired on their travels, then made their way back to the little alley. Tony truly felt for Loki. For him, it must have felt like returning to a tiny little prison cell after having the whole world at his feet.

“You alright there, Lokes?”

“I’m fine.”

“We can always come back, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

The conversation ended there. They found the little corner, and Loki quickly constructed the portal. Luckily the journey had become easier with practice, because this time Loki offered no support. His sulky behaviour was beginning to get on Tony’s nerves, but he didn’t say anything. Knowing Loki, if Tony pissed him off then they could still be here weeks later.

“Are you ready?” “Sure, ready when you are, babe.”

Loki nodded, then stepped into the portal. Warily, Tony followed.

The flashing lights and strange, absent physics came with a new kind of horror this time. He felt sick in his… whatever part of him existed in this physical state. Loki was nowhere to be found. Worries and possibilities came rushing into Tony’s mind. What if he was lost? What if Loki was lost? What if something had gone wrong? It didn’t _usually_ take this long, did it?

“Tony?”

The voice snapped him back to consciousness. He could feel the floor, cold but familiar, beneath his back.

“Tony!”

That wasn’t Loki’s voice, Tony realized. Had Loki gotten back safely too.

“You should wake up. Pepper is looking for you.”

_There_ he was. Tony opened his eyes, but Loki wasn’t there anymore. He hadn’t just imagined his voice, had he? No, he’d probably retreated off to the bedroom, so Pepper didn’t see him. That made sense.

“Tony, are you alright?” Pepper came running into his line of vision, her head appearing above his. “What happened? Did you fall?”

“Fall? No, no, I’m just thinking.”

Pepper looked at him sceptically. “On the floor?”

“Yeah, it’s a new technique I learnt from… from…”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Tony. What matters is where you’ve been for the last two months.”

“Two months?”

“Yeah, Tony, two months.” The way she looked at him told him exactly what she thought. A relapse. That was the obvious explanation, wasn’t it?

Tony couldn’t let her think that. He couldn’t stand the obvious disappointment in her eyes. “I’ve been in South Africa.”

“South Africa? And how did you get there? The jet never left…”

“I didn’t fly there on the jet. I went to the airport, like a normal person.”

“And you weren’t recognised? Yeah, sure.”

“I wore a disguise.”

She shook her head again, and put a supportive hand on her shoulder. “I know you’re lying, Tony. It’s okay, you can tell me. If you slipped up…”

“I didn’t ‘slip up’!” For a split second he actually considered telling the truth, before realizing that course of action would put Loki’s life on the line, as well as his own. “I told you, I went to South Africa. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s something I had to do.”

Pepper lowered her face into her hands – was he really going to play this game? They both knew exactly where he had been. “Okay, then tell me why.”

“I had a lead. Some new technology.”

“Oh yeah? A lead from who?”

“Urm…”

“A woman named Cassandra Callaghan, Miss Potts. A college friend of Mr. Stark’s.” Jarvis provided. “Also a previous romantic partner, I believe. Is that correct, Sir?”

Wait, did Jarvis just _lie_? Tony wasn’t aware that he’d programmed him to be able to do that. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. But that’s not why she called me out there, it’s not like that.”

“I wouldn’t mind if it was.”

“Yeah, but it _wasn’t_. She found something, and figured it was more my kind of thing than hers.”

“Okay… but why didn’t you just tell someone? We’ve all been worried sick about you! I mean, we told the police you were missing, they’ve been all over the place looking for you. How did you even get back here without them spotting you? Tony, none of this story makes any sense.”

No, it really didn’t. How could he piece everything together to make something that covered his tracks? Loki could do it in seconds, he knew, but he could hardly go ask him. Though, if he was listening, then maybe he could tell Jarvis, who could somehow feed him the details…

The A.I. was silent. Either Loki wasn’t listening, or he had decided not to help. Probably the latter. “Look, Pepper...” He had no excuse. He couldn’t buy time forever. “I need some time away. I needed something that’s completely outside anything that’s going on right now. All I wanted to do is just go back to when none of it even existed. I-”

“Tony.”

His speech interrupted, Tony paused to breathe. The lie had been convincing, Pepper’s face told him as much. Then again, there was more truth in what he’d said than he intended.

“Tony? Are you alright?”

“I’m… good. I’m better than I was, at least.”

“Well, I’m glad about that.” She smiled tiredly, then checked her phone as it went off. Whatever the message was she chose to ignore it. “So – why don’t you show me this new technology? Or was it a false lead?”

“Well, no…”

“Sir, I think I should remind you that the recovered technology is in the bag you returned with, which is sitting by your foot.”

Tony looked down. “Oh, yeah. What would I do without you, Jarvis?”

“Crash and burn, I suspect, Sir.”

He smiled to himself, then leant down and picked up the bag. Pepper watched him intently. Over the course of their journey he’d picked up various bits and pieces, all of which were in the bag, but he chose the first white orb they’d bought in the first shop. It was the object he was most familiar with, and also the only object without any alien writing on it. Not that Pepper would guess that he’d been off gallivanting around space with a wanted super villain from a bit of writing, but she’d go off and tell S.H.I.E.L.D., and he didn’t want to lose his new toys this quickly.

With one last look over it himself, he handed it to Pepper. She inspected it carefully, before deciding it was safe to handle. “What is it?”

“Not exactly sure yet. We did a few tests on it over in South Africa, but I needed some of my equipment to fully inspect it. So far as I can see, I think it might be for some kind of teleportation.”

Pepper looked at the smooth orb in her hands, looking over it in more detail now. “Really? Are you sure it’s not alien or anything?”

“Nah, I met the guy who made it. He was 100% human. As are all the materials in that thing – more or less. Callaghan confirmed it.”

“Is it safe?”

Tony shrugged. “Hasn’t hurt anyone yet. And anyway, it wasn’t designed to be a weapon.

“Can you get it working?”

“I hope so.”

Suddenly Pepper’s phone rang again. She handed the object back and answered it. “Hi, Rhodey. Yeah, he’s here.”

Tony made to leave the room. “Don’t tell him I’m here,” He mouthed at her. Pepper made a face at him, but nodded. 

“He’s alright. He’s been… he’s been in _South Africa_ , apparently. No, I didn’t believe him at first either, but he has the proof. He flew public. Yeah, I know, he said he wanted to be a ‘normal person’ for once.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, he’s safe, and he’s sleeping. Of course, I’ll send him when he wakes up. Yes, I’ll tell him. Okay, bye Rhodey.”

“Am I to assume I’ll be drowned in the media in a matter of hours?”

“Tomorrow. You’ll have to go to the Police, and explain everything. Then yeah, you’re going to have to hold a press conference.”

“Really? Because the new thing isn’t quite ready yet…”

“Just come up with something to say. The world wants to know where you’ve been.”

Tony sighed. Yeah, he was right to be scared about coming back. “Okay. Thanks, Pep, you’re brilliant.”

I know.” She smiled brightly, and began to turn away.

“Wait! Pepper.”

She paused, then slowly turned back round, looking a little exasperated. “Yes?”

“I… yeah, I’m not going to lie about it. My main reason for going out there was to get things going with Cassie again.”

“As I said, I don’t care either way.”

“No, but Pepper, you don’t understand. I was so _happy_. All the… panic attacks and the anxiety, it was like I was free from it. I don’t remember the last time I was just so content with life.”

The look on Pepper’s face was inexplicable, at least to Tony. He could only understand one thing – she did not like what she was hearing.

“And I can’t help but wonder if coming back was a mistake.”

She was speechless. Where was this coming from? Tony certainly didn’t seem very happy now. “It wasn’t a mistake. All your friends were worried sick. I was worried. We all thought you’d...”

“Died of alcohol poisoning? Yeah, that’s probably what I would assume too.”

“You needed to come back to let us know you were okay,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

“Does that mean it’s okay for me to go back now?”

“I… no, no it doesn’t. You can’t escape these things forever. And you’ve been building something good for yourself here, you’ve got Stark Industries, you’ve got the Avengers… is it really worth throwing all that away?”

“I don’t know, Pep, that’s why I’m asking you.”

“And I’m telling you it’s a bad idea. Please, don’t run off again.” She reached out and took his hand as she spoke, and held it tightly. “We need you here.” Before turning and leaving, she planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the adventures through space are kind of brief. I ran out of time. But I would like to write more about them at some point, so maybe I'll post those at a later date.


	6. The Ultimatum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey offers advice, but doesn't fully understand Tony's situation. Later, Loki speaks the truth and presents Tony with his options.

“Honestly, man, I’m just pleased to see you alive. I thought you’d gone and drunk yourself to death.”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone thought, wasn’t it?”

“Pretty much.”

Tony sank down into the seat, exhausted. The past few days had been hellish, dealing with the police, dealing with the press, dealing with the public. First thing on the after his return, the Police had arrived, demanding that he proved his story. Luckily Tony had been able to convince Loki to falsify the documents necessary to provide the evidence, however reluctantly he’d agreed. He had something along the lines of “I wouldn’t have needed to do this if we had just stayed away.”

It was actually the most Loki had said to him since they’d gotten back. He hardly even saw the Trickster, apart from when they shared a bed. But that was another problem, one that he had to deal with himself. There was no explaining his actions to his friends, he knew that.

“You still there, Tony?”

That was Rhodey. He’d taken Tony out for a pint in order to help him recover from the ordeal, but all Tony could do was worry about the sulky God waiting for him back at home.

“Yeah, I’m still here. Just a little tired from dealing with all this shit.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be dealing with it if you hadn’t just disappeared on us. I mean, South Africa? Really? Don’t you need special jabs and stuff for that?”

Tony shrugged. “I guess not.”

“I mean, did you even find what you were looking for out there?”

“Yeah, I showed you the thing, didn’t I?”

“That’s not what I meant. Pepper told me what you said about this Callaghan girl.”

Oh, of course she did.

“That’s… that’s a long story, Rhodey.”

“I think so. I guess I did get what I wanted in that respect. It was fun while it lasted, but I wanted a more permanent fix, you know?”

Rhodey laughed out loud. “Are you seriously wanting to settle down now, Tony? I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“No! I mean, maybe, but that wasn’t my point. I mean that everything just seemed right there, like all the things that were broken were fixed. But now everything’s just gone back to the way it was, worse even.”

“It’s been a hard couple of days. I’m sure things will be fine soon.”

Tony highly doubted that. Loki’s capability of holding grudges was phenomenal, though he couldn’t explain that to Rhodey. “I don’t know, I just wonder if coming back was a mistake.”

“Tony, trust me, it wasn’t. You can’t spend your life messing around with some girl. I mean, why can’t you just bring her back here?”

I brought Loki back, but I can’t help but feel that I left most of him behind. “I don’t know. I don’t think it would make sense over here.”

“Then she probably isn’t the chick for you. Come on, you can move on. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Rhodey, how would you feel if I did go back? And never came home again. I just… stayed there, stayed happy.”

“Tony, don’t talk like that. This is your home, you belong here. Don’t just throw your life away like that for some girl you’ll be over next week. Now, you up for another round?”

“Why not?”

*

That’s why he was surprised to find the lights in the living area on. Even if Loki was still awake, he didn’t usually spend time in that room anyway, and he would hardly have left the light on as a favour for Tony. That could only mean…

“Yes, and you’re drunk. This is a less than favourable situation, but I suppose it will have to do.”

“Do for what?”

“Tony, we need to talk.”

The scientist groaned, rolling his eyes at Loki. “Yeah, we really do. But do we have to do this now? Can’t this wait till tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is too late.”

That sounded ominous. Tony wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what Loki meant by that. “Why? What’s happening tomorrow?”

“I’m leaving, Tony.”

Well, _obviously_. That’s the only answer that made sense. Loki was clearly miserable, and now he had an obvious escape route. Only Tony’s alcohol-addled mind couldn’t see it like that. “Am I not good enough for you?”

“Of course you are. I _love_ you. And I want to stay with you. But I can’t stay here.”

The sincerity in Loki’s voice was hardly recognisable as him. “We all have to make sacrifices, Loki. If you really loved me you’d just get through it, wouldn’t you?”

“But Tony, I have nothing left to sacrifice. I’ve given everything. And I’m going _insane_. Haven’t you seen it? I try to twist everything, I manipulate you, and I lie to you. I can’t control it anymore. I’m trapped. It’s worse than the cell in Asgard. At least there I’m not fearing capture with every breath I take.”

“So you’re leaving me.”

“No, Tony, I’m asking you to come with me.”

Maybe he would have seen that coming if he was sober, but drunk Tony was shocked. “I – Loki, you know I can’t. My place is here.”

“Why? Says who?”

“Says everyone! Says you!”

“And didn’t you prove me wrong?”

“No! You were right, you’re always right. I shouldn’t have argued.”

Loki stared at him, bewildered, not even sure how to proceed. “Wasn’t it you that just said that if I truly loved you I would stay with you? Well, why doesn’t that apply to you? Even if this isn’t my place, and the rest of the universe isn’t yours, which makes a certain amount of sense. Your place is by my side, and mine is by yours.”

In his current state, Tony could find no words that could match that. He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. _Damn_ , he thought to himself, _this is why I shouldn’t drink_. “Loki, I can’t. I can’t go with you.”

“Why-”

“Because it seems the whole universe is against us! It isn’t right, it can’t be right.”

Loki fell into grim silence. For too long (in Tony’s opinions) he looked on mournfully, not daring to speak.

“I’m sorry, Loki.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

Tony curled up, sobbing noisily in his drunken state. “I wish I could come, Loki. I wish I could.”

“I know.”

“Can we just have one more night before you go? I mean, I night where you don’t sleep with you back to me. One night _together_.”

There was no response. Tony waited for moments, before feeling Loki’s touch on his shoulder. “I think I at least owe you that. Come on, let me help you up.”

Tony shakily regained his feet, with a lot of help from Loki. “Why do you… why do you have to be you, Loki? I could have fallen in love with anyone. But in the end it was you.”

“I know. I’ve asked myself the same thing over and over again.”

“No! Don’t say that. I mean, why do you have to be _Loki_? But I like that it’s you.”

“Tony, you aren’t making very much sense. But… I think I understand what you’re saying. And I apologize, for being Loki.”

“Thanks. Means a lot to me.”


	7. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns to live with the consequences of his choices.

In the morning Tony regretted having drunk so much. Not only did he have a hideous hangover, he ended up sleeping in till noon. When he finally woke, he turned over to find that Loki was already gone. Frantically he leapt out of bed, pulling on whatever clothes were to hand, and then rushed into the living room.

“Loki?”

The glowing blue light emanating from the living room was re-assuring, and Tony found he could breathe easy again. As he descended the stairs into the open-plan living area, he saw Loki, dressed in his full armour, curled up on the sofa with a book.

“You’re still here.”

Loki looked up from the book. “Well, it hardly seemed proper to leave without a word of farewell.”

If Tony didn’t know better, he’d say that it sounded like Loki had been crying. “Ah, I knew you wouldn’t leave. You couldn’t just go without a performance of some sort.”

“True. But I didn’t stay to create drama.” Loki lay down the book and stood up. “I’ll miss you. You must know that.”

“I know. And I’m gonna miss you too. I…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. How could he do this to Loki? How could he do this to _himself_? “I should be going with you.”

“I would agree. But if you think this is your place, I will not argue.”

“Thanks for that. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize. We both made our decisions.”

Tony nodded. Even so, it couldn’t have hurt more. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Loki’s shoulders. His tears ran freely into the leather of Loki’s chest piece. He could feel something warm on the top of his head, and with a numb kind of shock he realized it was Loki’s tears he could feel. “Loki? You will come back, won’t you?” He didn’t pull away from Loki, but he could feel him shake his head. “I _can’t_. It’s too dangerous for me here. It’s a new kind of imprisonment that is far worse than anything else. Tony, I – I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Well, good bye then.” Tony finally released Loki from his embrace. It felt so insignificant, but there weren’t any words that felt appropriate.

“Yes. Farewell.” Loki took hold of Tony’s chin and tilted his face upwards, so he could put his lips on his lover’s. He held Tony there for a good few minutes, enjoying their final embrace. It made his chest ache, knowing this would be the last time they would kiss like that.

Their embrace was interrupted by the buzzing of Tony’s phone. “Ah, sorry, let me just…” He reached into his pocket, and saw Pepper’s ID on the screen. Quickly he answered it. “Hey, Pep. What’s up?”

“I need to discuss something with you. Accounting stuff. It’s boring, but I just need second. Can you come down to my office?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a second.”

“No rush. Just get here at some point this morning.” She hung up.

Numbly Tony returned his phone to his pocket.

“Go. Pepper needs you.” Loki’s hand was on his shoulder. The trickster squeezed it gently. “I’ll be gone when you get back.”

“Okay.”

The God smiled, kissed his forehead tenderly, then let him go.

Tony retreated quickly, leaving Loki behind him. Pepper's office was just two floors below, and he focused on that, rather than the scene currently playing out in his living room.

"Hey, Pep, what's up?"

The CEO looked up from her papers, and forced a smile through the stressed expression. "Tony! I thought it would be at least an hour before you turned up. There's just a few things I need you to sign..."

The list was a long one, and Tony wasn't listening. In his head he had convinced himself that he could still here the distant hum of Loki's portal. _If I run, there's still a chance I could join him..._

"Tony, are you even listening to me? I guess it doesn't matter really, as long as you sign..."

"Pepper, I can't sign these papers."

"What? Why not? Tony, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Pepper, I don't have time to explain. You remember I said I wanted to go back? Well, I have a plane to catch. Like, right now." He leapt out of his chair, sending it spinning across the room. Without a second glance at Pepper's alarmed disposition, he made his way out the door and started up the stairs.

"What's happening? Where the hell are you going?"

Tony span on his heals and gestured for her to go back. "Just... just stay there, Pepper. I'm going, and you can't stop me."

Whether she followed him up the stairs or not, Tony didn't know. He didn't look over his shoulder to check. All his focus was devoted to the portal. As he skidded into the living area, he could see it - smaller than it had been, but still there. Vaguely he considered the possibility that Loki had deliberately left it open so that he could follow if he wanted to. But that didn't even matter - it was still open, and that was all Tony cared about. When he was close enough, he dove head first into it, no fear for what was on the other side.

He was falling again, but this time it all seemed so familiar, so friendly. It felt like he was going home. And if he really reached out into the multi-coloured world of absent physics, he could feel Loki's presence by his side.

_I knew you would come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for leaving it like that! I ran out of time and it seemed like the only ending I could reach any time soon. However, if people are interested then there might be a sequel at some point. I'll see how at goes.
> 
> Also, thanks for reading! If you liked it, please leave kudos and drop a comment.
> 
> Finally, thanks to mezzo_marinaio for the wonderful post. It's been a pleasure to write, and I hope you enjoy it.


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